Recovery Retreat Wrap-Up
On a hot September Friday, twelve precious women travelled from the states of Washington, Idaho, Tennessee, Virginia, South Carolina, and the west coast of Florida for an eating disorder recovery retreat, hosted by Bring Your Brokenness. Uncertain of what to expect, they timidly entered the beautiful resort-like home in Amelia Plantation.
Most of them had never met, yet they shared a common bond. In addition to their weekend luggage, they also carried invisible baggage, heavy with guilt, shame, exhaustion, self-hatred, failing marriages, depression, anxiety, and hopelessness. Some ladies were malnourished, and many expressed attending this retreat was a last effort in recovery. They were desperately seeking a new hope.
Wonderful volunteers stood ready to check them in and help them get settled, eager to selflessly serve and share with them the love and Jesus. Some of these volunteers had been there for several hours preparing the home and prepping dinner. Some had been serving behind the scenes for weeks gathering supplies, collaborating with businesses, and working out details. Over two hundred people were praying, and over 70 people contributed with in-kind gifts and financial donations.
On Thursday, several ladies worked late into the evening finalizing details, wrapping donated gifts, organizing, food-prepping, labeling, rehearsing, and much more.
Volunteers were scheduled to come to the home in shifts throughout the weekend. Each shift had a team leader who coordinated a parking shuttler, housekeeping tasks, meal and snack prep/cleanup (including precise measuring, weighing, and plating for 12 specific meal plans), and miscellaneous tasks. Every day, between the hours of 7AM and 10PM, we had between four and ten people in the home attending to every detail. They lovingly and cheerfully cleaned, cooked, washed, dried, folded, chopped, baked, swept, and so much more.
The attendees recounted the manner in which they did those things as one of their favorite parts of the retreat. So many said that, although they'd grown up in church and been surrounded by Christians for most of their lives, they'd never before this weekend experienced such kindness and unconditional love. We have received testimony after testimony of how much this meant to them.
Our community and friends outdid themselves with financial and in-kind contributions. The following were just a few of the gifts we received. Our hearts were overwhelmed by the outpouring of love and generosity from so many of you. Truly, there are no words to adequately express our gratitude!
- monetary gifts
- gift cards
- embroidered towels from Ponte Vedra Embroidery
- groceries
- journaling Bibles
- prepared food from Chick-Fil-A Amelia Island
- tote bags
- t-shirts
- welcome bag fillers (more than I could ever list!)
- spa products
- fun socks
- household goods
- autographed books and CD's from Jenni Schaefer
- and so much more!
And now the hour had come - the opening of the retreat weekend. The moment for which we'd been praying for months was finally here! Attendees were assisted in getting settled into their rooms, and the immediate outpouring of unconditional love from our volunteers began easing the weight of the invisible baggage strapped to the their backs.
Amie met with the ladies before dinner to cover boundaries and guidelines for the weekend. Anxiety levels were still high but beginning to lessen.
Meals and snacks over the weekend were battlegrounds. While eating disorders are about so much more than food, at the end of the day, without restoring a relationship with food, one cannot recover.
Many of these ladies regularly engaged in extreme eating disorder behaviors including binging, purging, restricting, and more. In order to attend the retreat, attendees were required to sign an agreement stating they would not engage in behaviors while here. They committed to following a meal plan approved by their dieticians. Accountability was in place to ensure that there would not be opportunity for them to break their commitments/engage in behaviors.
The table was, by far, the most difficult part of the retreat. We began every meal and snack in the living room. Holding hands, we asked God for His blessing. We thanked Him for His plan of using delicious food to fuel and nourish the bodies that He so lovingly created. And we asked Him to help us keep our thoughts stayed on truth.
As always, God was faithful. I am grateful to Him to share with you that, to our knowledge, every lady completed every exchange at every meal and snack, and no one engaged in an eating disordered behavior while with us. That is an incredible victory!
Following dinner that first night, Amie led the first session entitled, "Only Jesus." She shared her testimony and talked about how only Jesus could take the most broken pieces of life, what the enemy intended for evil, and use them for good. She explained that this very retreat is an example of God's sovereignty over all things.
The session was followed by a group, "Broken Together." Attendees were given an opportunity to share pieces of their broken stories with one another and how they were praying for God to work in their hearts over the weekend.
Saturday morning brought an early breakfast. We followed it with processing time, where each person shared thoughts and feelings about what they'd eaten. Thoughts and feelings that didn't align with truth were lovingly challenged.
Rev. Shane Johns led our first session of the day, "The Power in a Name." Sometimes we illude power to a disorder by giving it a name. But it is not an entity that lives within us and has no power. Conversely, there is true and lasting power in the name of Jesus. He lives within us and makes all things possible. We were encouraged to cling to the omnipotent name of Jesus Christ.
The ladies clung to that name through fears of eating snack. After snack, we processed thoughts and feelings a bit differently. Amie shared that it's not always possible to process after every meal or snack with someone who can "push back." However, there are other coping skills available to us. One of those skills includes turning our thoughts away from ourselves and intentionally towards Jesus. A great way to do that is through worship music. Allison and Amie led a worship time, and the attendees were encouraged to close their eyes, listen to the lyrics, and sing along.
Following our worship time, Allison Johns, worship leader and Bible teacher, led a session entitled, "When the Ground Falls Out Beneath You." Unfortunately, the Bible confirms that we will have trouble as long as we're living in this world. It's not "if" the ground falls out beneath you; it's "when." At some point, our footing will give way, and the foundation beneath us determines our future. If we've built it on worldly comforts to which we run when things get difficult, then when the ground begins to crumble, we will be swallowed up. Worldly comforts are temporary and not sustainable. But if we build our lives upon Jesus, our eternal comfort, He will hold fast through any storm. He will be faithful. He does not change. We were also encouraged not to just run from the eating disorder, but to run to Jesus.
After the battle was won on the war with lunch, we were led by Amanda Ranney with FitPeacebyPeace. Amanda shared parts of her story with us and then led us in a group where we journaled about "The Five Elements of Recovery Discovery" - self-recognition, self-forgiveness, self-awareness, compassion, and passion. Amanda is author of the book Fit Peace by Peace; she gave a copy to each of the attendees and challenged them to keep fighting for recovery, because it is possible!!
We moved group outside to the back porch where Katie Stuart, LMHC, led a conversation around body image. It is no secret that it's a significant struggle for most women, and an even more challenging struggle for women with an eating disorder as a result of body dysmorphia. Katie led us well by posing open-ended questions, allowing the attendees to voice thoughts, feelings, and concerns in a safe environment, followed by challenges of truth.
Just before afternoon snack, we enjoyed an interactive group outside, where we bashed a scale with a custom Bring Your Brokenness sledgehammer. We wrote messages to the scale, on the scale, before bashing, and each attending got a swing. It was quite therapeutic!
Snack was processed in another unconventional way. Amie again reiterated that it's not always possible to process thoughts and feelings regarding food with someone who knows how to challenge thoughts with truth. However, we have many tools available for our use. Amie passed out thankful journals and challenged the ladies to, once again, turn their thoughts towards Jesus. "In all things, give thanks." The ladies began to make lists in their journals of things for which they were thankful. We learned that thankful journaling is another wonderful coping skill to help us get through difficult feelings after eating. A grateful heart changes our perspectives.
We were blessed to have registered dietician, Caroline Garner, speak with us after processing. She shared with us many incredible facts about our amazing bodies and God's plan for us to nourish them with food. Each food group He created does very specific and good things for our bodies. They are essential for life. We can honor God and worship Him just by eating!
Caroline led us to the kitchen for an experiential therapy after her group. The kitchen is a fearful place for many women with eating disorders. Touching food can be scary and undesirable for some. Others love to work in the kitchen, but only if preparing delicious food for others to eat. They do not want to eat it themselves.
Our experiential therapy group in the kitchen allowed us to make chicken burrito bowls, complete with homemade salsa and guacamole. It proved to be a fun time of fellowship, an insightful time of learning and experiencing, and an opportunity to worship the Lord together as we nourished our bodies. Many ladies were surprised that they could laugh and enjoy themselves, even when around food. It was very sweet to watch the Lord lift the fears and bring joy as they trusted the process and His plan for their lives.
After dinner, we enjoyed a beautiful beach walk. It was a wonderful time to enjoy one another's company, share some heavy heart issues, ask some questions, and take in God's breathtaking display of nature.
A restful spa night brought the evening to a close, complete with foot soaks, pedicures, and sweet conversation. Licensed Massage Therapist, Gwen Collins, provided upper body massages for attendees. Lauren Leonard, microbiologist, gave the ladies a premier peek at the private label she has donated to Bring Your Brokenness for an aromatherapy and skincare line! Fifty percent of every item sold goes directly to the ministry of Bring Your Brokenness. You can now shop here!
Sunday morning, we conquered breakfast, processed, and then rode to church together to worship with First Baptist Church of Fernandina Beach. We worshiped in song and then learned from a sermon about showing mercy. Then it wast time to head back to our retreat home for lunch.
After processing lunch, our afternoon session was led by Dr. Kim Dal Porto, MD. She talked to us about the medical implications of eating disorders. It was a frightening dose of reality to hear the impact of behaviors upon the bodies God so lovingly gave to us. Dr. Kim took time to answer questions and encouraged the ladies to get the help that they need, because the dangers associated with eating disorders are very real.
Snack and snack processing was followed by another experiential therapy - art! Led by Artist Emily Ivey of Crafty Taxi, attendees were led step by step through painting a lighthouse on the ocean. The paintings turned out beautifully, and it was a sweet time of introspection, fellowship, and laughter.
Our dinner was followed by a processing time on the beach. Realization that our weekend was drawing to a close brought mixed emotions. God was at work in hearts and lives, and we didn't want it to end.
Upon return to the retreat home, we ate snack at the table while participating in a hands-on group activity. We made recovery 911 cards. The ladies wrote out recovery tools, coping skills, and steps to take should they feel themselves slipping. Bible verses with absolute truths were provided along with card stock, glue sticks, markers, and other art media. The recovery cards were placed in self-laminating pouches, punched with a whole punch, and secured with a D-ring.
We rose early Monday morning to watch the sunrise at the beach. One of the attendees brought her guitar and led us in worship. The ladies read their Bibles, sang, and Amie closed by reading Scripture aloud and praying over the group. It was beautiful, in every possible way.
A warm breakfast, processing time, and tearful sharing of weekend takeaways brought the retreat to a close. The testimonies are still pouring in, and we give God all the glory. Hearts were touched. Lives were changed. Hope was found. New commitments were made. It's exactly what we prayed for, and we rejoice in what God has done and continues to do!
As of this post date, one attendee has entered a higher level of care at a residential treatment facility, one is entering next week, one is very close to accepting Jesus as her personal Savior, one was honest with her husband about current eating disorder behaviors, a couple are returning to outpatient treatment, and several have professed a restored relationship with Jesus.
If you prayed for us, bought a grocery item, mailed us paper towels, cleaned a bathroom, swept a floor, washed a dish, made a bed, gave a gift card, donated an item, drove a golf cart, or anything else for this retreat, know that God used YOU to make this possible. I am forever grateful!! I pray He blesses you far beyond anything you could ever ask or imagine. And I pray that He continues the work He began in the hearts of the ladies who attended.
